Filed under: Style & Beauty | Tags: appearance, dress, hair, judge, judgement, outer, proverbs, style, superficial, surface
“Hey, Rasta!” the loser in the driver’s seat yells. Their superficial remark bounces out of a passing car that’s headed in the opposite direction of my walk home. The effortless judgment only manages to go skin deep, and I merely shake my head at the unoriginality of the comment. As I do so, I sense my dreadlocks brush across my shoulders—or maybe they don’t, because maybe they’re pulled back in a relatively conservative ponytail that day. Doesn’t matter. Details like that never do. That’s the great thing about indulging our natural tendency to judge based on outer appearance: we don’t have to bother thinking too hard. So, to make things easier for one another, it’s good to be aware of what you can expect so that you can present yourself as true to form as possible.
Putting the obvious aside, such as ethnicity and sex, we’ll focus on the things that we actually determine. Hair is surprisingly important when it comes to affecting judgment of one’s outer appearance. Long and shaggy indicates carelessness, an irresponsible and non-chalante attitude (despite the fact that this hairstyle takes forever to achieve). This and other non-traditional approaches are considered “do’s” in the world of college, arts and creative pursuits. It also works well in high school, unless you’re the principal. Once Principal Shaggy trims and tames that stylish mop, the parents find him markedly more credible and capable. Darker hair indicates soberness and sophistication, especially for females. Women with “big” hair are assumed to wear “big” personalities, while sleeker styles indicate a more prudent nature. And, if no style whatsoever is applied, it’s assumed that she’s creating beautiful music with the guy flaunting the shaggy do.
There are people who are savvy enough to use pre-judgments to their advantage. Such as rappers who dress in preppie clothing—they create their own spotlight by using the striking incongruity between an educated, conservative, white-collar exterior and a seemingly unreserved, urban approach. Colorful clothing indicates creativity or an equally vibrant personality. It can also indicate flightiness and an unrealistic world-view, setting up the perfect opportunity for you to knock their socks off with your explanation of how Einstein’s theory of relativity affects our lives, today.
Miss Etiquette would be very disappointed with the horrible posture that most of us exhibit these days. Which makes someone’s erect stance or sitting position stand out. They seem taller, more confident. Who wouldn’t follow this person’s lead versus the slouch? On the other hand, which one would you rather approach for a day of fun?
It’s a matter of life, a matter of fact that physical attributes are markers people use to guess what’s beneath the surface; whether or not you fit all their assumptions, these decisions affect how you will be received. The key to knowing what your appearance says to others is knowing your intent. Though your core style will stay the same, your intent may change from scene to scene; from office, to gym, to café. The smart move is to make an effort to use details that reflect your most applicable attributes. But, don’t let who you are on the inside rely as heavily on such fickle opinions. Most importantly, make sure that you groom an inner appearance that attracts the person in the mirror, and then determine how you want that presented.
Proverbs 13:7 One man pretends to be rich, yet has nothing; another pretends to be poor, yet has great wealth.
- quo elbert
Filed under: Style & Beauty | Tags: appearance, beauty, debate, inside, looks, out, personality
“Real, true, genuine,” are concepts that endure; a term rarely applied to physical beauty. For examples of why, glance around your next high school reunion. Or, turn your gaze towards the Hollywood skyline where the knife is used more often on the surgeon’s table than at the dinner table. If it’s real beauty you seek, scratching the surface will only yield disappointing, fleeting results.
The fact is that we are all getting older. Wait. Wait. See? Parts of all our bodies have just moved one second further in the wrong direction. And, it’s probably not going back without extreme measures. So, is my real beauty found in this skin that offers a new, daily battle with breakouts? Is it this form determined by decisions beyond my control and maintained by efforts that I can manage? Even in terms of an inanimate object, does it leave an impression merely because of its composition; or because it stirs an emotion, a memory, a hope?
Perhaps the more obvious answer is found in the beauty of a captivating personality. If so, then someone needs to call the Miss Universe Pageant, because they’re missing their top contenders: used car salespersons! Before you hand over that crown, there are some who might disagree with the aforementioned theory. An acquaintance of mine, for one; he bought a used car for his growing family, only for it to die two months later. He ended up selling it at a loss. No, “beauty” is not the term I’d use for the alluring spell that some purposely or instinctively cast.
So, what is true beauty? What is ageless? Timeless? The famous proverb 31:30 referenced from the Christian Bible comments on both the inner and outer appearance. “Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain,” expresses that charm is unreliable and beauty useless.
What, then, remains true and relevant? Pursuits, dreams, hopes, loves. I am blessed with friends who display a unique combination of wise practicality and almost naïve trust. Their stories helped shape distinct, uplifting and amazingly certain outlooks; they helplessly reflect the good that should be. And, whatever made them who they are is what helps make me who I hope to become.
Beauty is not one’s underlying story, but the generosity with which that story is shared among those who see the worth in really looking. Beauty of such depth is intense-its vessel helpless to its permeating beyond even flesh and blood.
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